I’ve had several instances over the past few weeks that have reminded me of people’s self-serving, self-righteous ways. The me mentality. And I’ve jumped right back in it as well.
It’s how we’re wired. We’re a selfish people. While we profess to want to help others and to be of service none of us does it with complete altruism. We all have motives.
Check YOUR motives
It’s been a bit, but I used to practice this daily. Asking myself, and sometimes a trusted confidant, “what’s my motive?”. The answers would often cause me to take pause and even change direction.
- Am I looking to hurt someone (not physically)?
- Am I trying to make me look better?
- Do I want to embarrass them?
- Is my ego or pride driving this behavior/thinking?
The list goes on. It’s a simple question but I’ve got to be willing to ask and consider the truth.
Would you rather be right, or be happy?
Chew on that for a minute. If pride is an issue (and you know it is), then the immediate answer is to be right. It’s how we’re wired. It takes a real conscious effort to stand down, move on and be happy. I’m of the position now that if other are so set on being right, let them. Eventually it will catch up and work out just fine. And until then, I can be happy. Because I choose to be.
In all of this, I’m reminded that so many folks live in and are fueled by fear. They are afraid of losing something that they have or they’re afraid of not getting something that they want. And if I have any of this (whatever IT is), then I become a target of their fear, manifested by anger.
While it’s not the quick fix, self-awareness can spare a lot of mid games and anxiety. There are instances where I find myself over thinking something or someone and have to quickly change that thought. No person that I don’t really care for is going to get much time in my head. Not worth it.
Of course, nowadays this tends to happen more online with the advent of social media. A lot of folks have keyboard courage but the talking and bullying stops there. Behind a keyboard and monitor (or mobile device) folks can be bold. The more self-aware I become, the more confident I become, the less valid that childish behavior becomes.
In fact, if all they can do is talk about me, clearly, they couldn’t find a better topic.
What are some practical steps that you take or principles that you apply daily to stay grounded?