I’ve noticed a recurring theme with some folks close to me. They seem to be struggling with doing what they want to do versus what other people want them to do.
I struggled with this same predicament at one time. Then something bordering on magical happened.
In my early 20s, I realized I was never going to please everyone. It finally dawned on me that not everyone would understand my decisions, and some people simply wanted a vicarious piggy-back ride so as to atone for their poor decisions from years past.
I can’t please everyone.
It’s impossible, it’s time consuming, and it’s exhausting. Plain. Simple. It has taken many moons for me to realize that the only opinions that matter are those of the occupants of my house. That’s not to say that the opinions of others aren’t important or aren’t welcomed; rather, I simply do not feel any obligation to act on them. My job is to remind these people that opinions and expectations are two different beasts.
They don’t understand.
But do they NEED to understand? No, of course not. It’s my decision, my life, my struggle, and my burden. I saddled this bronco, now it’s time to hang on.
I’ve found that those who DO understand are well-balanced. They know my temperament, they love me for who I am, and they hold me accountable to my character and my integrity.
It’s not their life.
I’ve had individuals in my life who have devoted countless hours trying to tell me what I need to do. These are the people who are never satisfied with any effort or result, no matter how successful or close to their criteria it is. I finally decided to say to hell with ‘em. I ain’t gonna make ‘em happy, so I might as well just ignore them and do things MY way. It’s my life, not theirs.
So what does all this mean?
Think of a rain gauge. Now imagine that gauge measuring your “Give-A-Shit” instead of the amount of precipitation that fell to Earth from the sky. Grab the gauge, hold it up, turn it upside down, and empty every damn thing in it. Congratulations. You’ve just lowered your Give-A-Shit level.
Want to be less concerned with the opinions of others who, in the grand scheme of life, don’t matter? Want to make their feelings about you, what you stand for, and how you stand for it none of your business? Lower your Give-A-Shit. You can’t control the bull, but you can control how his evacuated waste affects you.